Let’s talk about two different students: Student A and Student B. (I know, you are blown away by my creativity in characterization!) Student A came to my office all the time, frequently stayed after class to chat, shared career goals, family background, etc. We had a very good relationship; our conversations were always engaging and enjoyable.

Student A started strong: Early submissions for me to review. Excellent grades. Later in the term? Student A’s proactiveness fell off. Life apparently got in the way. Unfortunately, when Student A started to falter, it was with an assignment that had a lot of points attached – 200 points, to be exact, which could definitely impact an A-grade goal.

Student A wanted an A. Student A ended up with a C. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that; however, Student A strove for more). Before I get on to Student B, let me be clear that Student A did continue to communicate with me. Not at the same level as when the A-work was happening, but Student A was honest that other personal situations were impacting work quality.

Okay, now for Student B:

I’ll cut to the chase and say that we had a similar excellent relationship. Student B submitted work early and achieved strong grades on speeches, outlines, and written work. Student B kept momentum through the term. Not surprisingly, at the end, Student B’s average was a 94.5%. Rounded up, 95% = 4.0 (I always round up).

There was NEVER one moment in my mind where I thought, “I know these students really well. I see them all the time. They come to my office, they talk with me after class, they work really hard… therefore, I’m going to help Student A out with a higher grade because of a good attempt, or round up Student B’s grade because of my familiarity with him/her.”

But there seems to be a perception, and there is some college advice out there indicating that profs may give you a higher grade if they are more familiar with you, or, if they like you! There are many reasons why you probably do not want to count on this happening for you.

Now, I know some of you are probably thinking, “Ooh… I really liked Chatty Prof, but now I’m thinking she’s sort of a hard-ass…”  I’ll explain myself:

1. Let’s say I’m called into a grade dispute (and I’m proud to say that I can count those on one hand in 13 years – I’m a super-transparent grader who offers tons of samples, rubrics, early review. And I’m also a hard-ass. Kidding!). My division chair or dean is going to expect me to show hard numbers. I can’t just say that the GPA spirit (you mean there isn’t one?) moved me to give the student a different grade than he/she deserved because I knew the student really, really well.

2. Okay, so what if I do grade a student that I know and like a teensy bit higher than another? Students compare grades all the time. “Like” is awesome on Facebook, but shouldn’t be my criteria for grading. Let’s not even mention my credibility as a fair prof if I grade based on how well I know a student. Gone. And, what if the student with a lesser grade also worked hard, but had a job that prevented him/her from becoming more familiar with me during office hours or staying after class? Again, not fair.

3. At the core of my educator’s soul, I wholly believe that grades are earned, not given. One of my degrees is in education. I believe in objectives. . . I believe in outcomes. . . I believe the children are our future–oh wait, that’s Whitney Houston . . .

Seriously, I believe that grades should reflect a student’s individual level of mastery of the material learned, based on the assignment’s requirements. At times, I will take into account a student’s individual level of improvement, such as quality of speech delivery from one speech to the next.

So what’s the communication lesson here? (Because there always is one!) First and foremost, my message from me to you–with love:

If you believe that some students get better grades because they chat up the professor a lot, and the professor seems to know them well, you probably aren’t getting the whole story.

The reason those students are likely getting better grades is because in the midst of the chatting, the student and the prof are talking about the assignments more, the student is asking for help more, and the prof is reviewing the work… more.

Think about it: If you’re hanging around talking to a prof about something you’ve seen on television, or about your mother, or about your job, a strong possibility exists that one of you is going to bring up an upcoming assignment. You might say, “Yeah, you know I’m a little worried about that speech.” Or, your professor might move the conversation out of the personal and into work: “So, how’s it going with your outline?” Then, the comfortable relationship between student and professor creates a feedback loop.

Let’s look at a conversation I might have with a student after the “chatty” is out of the way:

Student: “Yeah, you know, I’m really struggling with that outline. I have no idea where you find credible sources.”

Me: “Well, where have you looked?” or “Have you talked to one of the librarians? You know they have Ask-A-Librarian 24-7, right?”

Me again: “You know, you can send me your outline so I can review it ahead of time. I’m glad to give you feedback.”

Then, the student would hopefully take me up on that offer and submit work early, I would make comments/suggestions for improvement, the student would make the changes and possibly even ask if the changes are correct. Voila! In so many cases, a better grade ensues! It didn’t happen because the professor simply knew the student. It happened because of the conversation and subsequent feedback on the work.

I would not count on sheer familiarity with your prof translating into getting a little help for your grade. It’s a gamble that you don’t want to risk! Want a better bet for your grade? Say these things:

“Professor Jones, I’d like to meet with you to discuss how I can reach my grade goals in this class.”

“Are you willing to accept early work? How early?”

“Once I submit work to you for review, are you willing to review again? How much time would you like to do that?”

If the prof refuses to review work ahead of time (I hear that some simply won’t review), then do the work early anyway and ask him/her a couple of strategic questions:

“Can you look over these two equations and make sure I’m doing them correctly?”

“Can I run my thesis statement by you to see if I’m on the right track?”

Then, if you get a lower grade than expected, your comfort level with the prof could give you the courage to say:

“Can you give me more information about what I could have done better?” or

“What part of the requirements did I miss?” or even

“Can I redo this and turn it back in?” (May not be realistic, but at least if you got a better grade, it would be based on action, not just the prof liking you).

Do you see where I’m going here? All of this conversation revolves around work, your involvement with the work, and your ownership and responsibility for the work. Certainly, if your prof were to ever write you a letter of recommendation, he/she will discuss characteristics about you. However, hard examples or stories about you will revolve around tangible action. In other words, your work.

I’m going to close this post by quoting my tweep, Allen Grove, English Prof, Alfred University (@Gotocollege on Twitter). He made this great statement in a recent CollegeBoundNet tweetchat:

“Knowing your work ethic is more important than knowing your face.”

Does your prof give points for participation? If so, do you know how that grade is calculated?

I know when I’d see “participation” mentioned in my college syllabi. . . with no clear explanation of how those points happened, I always wondered if the prof made little checks next to my name every time I opened my mouth in class. Or, did my mere presence in class presume my participation? Or, was there an entirely different, more objective formula for calculating those points that I didn’t know about?

(Did my professor scream, “Muhahahahahaha” when figuring up those points? I wonder…)

From your prof’s perspective, participation points can be derived a number of different ways:

• How often you open your mouth in class and constructively contribute to class discussion
• How much you attend class
• How actively you participate in group and partner activities
• How many times you ask questions and propose answers (not to mention the quality of those questions and answers)
• How substantively you write and respond to others on an external discussion forum, Wiki, blog, etc.

These are just some examples; there are countless others. Bottom line: If your syllabus talks about a participation grade, those points should not be a mystery.

So what’s the communication lesson here? Ask questions about how your participation relates to your overall grade! How do you do that? Here are tips:

1) Go back and look at your syllabus. If participation points exist, are they clearly explained? Hopefully the prof discussed what he/she expects on the first day, but if you are unsure and the syllabus doesn’t define the requirement, say, “I noticed on the syllabus that 20% of my grade is based on participation. I want to make sure I understand what to do to earn those points.”

2) If there are not distinct participation points mentioned in the syllabus, but other statements allude to interaction in class (think attendance, contributions to discussion, participating in activities, etc.), then your prof may not actually give you points for participation, but could take it into consideration later if you are close to getting a higher grade. You certainly can ask your prof, “I don’t see participation counted in our overall grade, but does it make any difference when you are determining my final grade?”

If your prof has an attendance policy and you can lose points for not being there, showing up is a measure of participation. However, being there in body isn’t all that your prof expects from you, so find out what you need to do.

3) If your syllabus does state that you need to show up to class, speak up in class, and play the prof’s reindeer games in class in order to earn your participation grade, find out how those points are tracked. Does your prof give you a check mark every time you utter a word? Is your attendance a declaration that you are participating? First, ask: “Can you tell me how I’m doing on my participation points so far? My goal is to earn full points in this area.” Or “Am I meeting your expectations for participation?”

Then, you can add, “Is there a way I can keep tabs on my participation to make sure I’m meeting all the requirements?” If your prof is using BlackBoard, Angel, or another course management system, maybe you can view these points in the gradebook yourself.

If the prof tells you that you need to speak up more or contribute in class differently, say: “Can you give me an example of what you expect?” If you feel you are doing more than you are getting credit for, then ask, “How are the points tracked? I’m concerned that some of my participation is being missed.”

4) If your participation involves online work, such as discussion board posts/responses, and you are not receiving full points, there’s specific advice on how to expand your writing.

5) If you are unable to participate in class in the way that is expected of you (channeling this post with Melvin whose cultural norms did not support him speaking openly in class), then you need to tell your prof specifically, “I am struggling with speaking out in class and I know it is expected. I am worried about earning my full participation points. Do you have advice for something else that I can do?”

You can ask: ”Can I submit questions to you ahead of time?,” ”Can my participation in paired or group situations count more fully?,” or ”Can I do additional work in another area?”

Your prof may or may not agree, but talk about it so you aren’t blindsided by fewer points. You may also want to consider speaking out in class even once or twice just to see how it feels to share your thoughts openly. Maybe you’ll find a new found confidence in sharing your voice!

Here is a student question I received in person at the end of one of my “Chatty Professor” college presentations:

“I’m in an Intermediate Calculus class and am acing it. I feel like going to class isn’t worth it. I could just go on test days and be fine. I talked to the instructor and he sort of said that would be okay. My mom does not think it’s okay. What do I do to make my mom happy, but not have to sit through a class where I already know what’s going on?”

Now, I get that many students only wish that they could be in this position, right? I empathize with this student. It is frustrating to feel like you are wasting time in a class when you are solid about what you’re learning. Here is my response:

The student did the absolute right thing going straight to the instructor and telling that person what was going on. You can say, “This information is really easy to me. I’m getting through the assignments and tests with no trouble and getting all A’s.” (Goes without saying that you should have proof of this in the instructor’s grade book).

You can also ask, “Does the college offer a test-out option or would your department consider creating one?” (My college does not offer a test-out option in speech, but our department has discussed developing one for our public speaking course, so it is reasonable to at least ask, even if the possibility doesn’t exist at that moment).

I do not think bailing on the class time is the best move, particularly when a student can use his/her command of the subject to a serious advantage. How? By becoming a teaching assistant–and boosting experience and resume content! Say to the instructor, “Maybe I can be of help to you. I could work with a group of students who are struggling.” The instructor may even ask you to help with other class-related activities or assignments. The possibilities are wide open!

Let’s say the instructor doesn’t need your help or won’t take it. That doesn’t mean you can’t start your own underground movement to assist others in your class. You can chat with your fellow students or send an e-mail through a course management system letting others know you are available.

Then, you can ask the instructor, “Is there a tutoring or resource center where I can help students who are taking other classes?” This broadens your base of help and you could even earn some money for your tutoring services!

I had a student, Spencer Wright, who took several of my courses and was a masterful writer/speech outliner. He got a job working in my college’s Writing Center and, lucky me, Spencer was assigned as the first student to help with both English and Communication classes! This meant that my students could make an appointment with Spencer and gain his help with their outlines. Spencer was crazy-busy that term; my students flocked to him before sending their outlines to me for review. The students who saw Spencer had some of the best speech content. I felt so lucky to have a student working behind the scenes to help my class. I valued his input more than I can adequately express!

Could you be getting some extra sleep rather than going to this class that you could ace in your sleep? Sure. Could you be hanging out on campus and making new friends? Of course. Could you be spending your time working on another class that you are struggling with? Absolutely.

But think about this: Knowing and being able to apply what you know–and seeing proof of that via rock-star grades–is excellent. Explaining what you know to others, helping them process information and apply it, will cement your knowledge and expand your communication ability in ways that will make you that much more excellent… and increasingly employable!

It’s work experience while you’re in college!

(Have I previously reported in this blog how important communication ability is in the workplace? Oh, wait… Yes, I have!).

Two quick end-notes to these tips:

First, make sure that in the midst of helping others that you don’t fall behind in your own work. Reel in your time if you suddenly find that you are struggling to maintain those A’s or are suffering in another class.

Next, a few weeks before the class ends, ask your instructor for a letter of recommendation. I wrote suggestions for starting this conversation for MyCollegeGuide.org not long ago. This should be an easy write for the instructor since you’ve not only done great work, but you’ve helped others improve, too! This is one letter that can speak directly to both your academic and professional talent, so grab it before you leave that class!

So how did my advice go over with the student? Really well, actually! The student’s entire face sort of lit up after I made the suggestion that he stay in the class and become the teacher’s right hand man. He said he hadn’t considered such an idea before and he was going to check out the possibility.

I bet his mom was proud!

Do you sit in class and worry about whether you should or shouldn’t speak up? Do you try to get your words just right in your mind before you’ll raise your hand? Then, by the time you’re ready to speak, the class has moved on to something else and you’ve lost your confidence?

It’s not a surprise that as a student, you are expected to add to classroom discussions, to assert your ideas/opinions/thoughts in a respectful way… to contribute to a shared, rich learning community. You are expected to talk in class! (Just to clarify: You are supposed to contribute to class discussion, not talk to those around you).

My opinion? – It is not possible to find your voice without speaking up in class–even if what you say isn’t perfect! And finding your voice in class takes practice and time. Some people need to “talk out” their ideas to process them. Some people need to fumble before their message is clear. Some people need to test the waters to gauge reaction before continuing. This is all part of learning about ourselves as communicators.

So what’s the communication lesson here? Remember that college is the place to craft and hone your communication skills. When you are in class and your prof calls for open discussion, join in. If your prof doesn’t include open discussion, feel free to raise your hand and ask a question anyway. You will likely give other students the courage to raise their hands, too. Then, check you out as the discussion starter!

Your professor will greatly appreciate you keeping the conversation going, too. (We love, love, love when students do that… silences are terribly uncomfortable. Any prof will tell you!).

A little break from the student/professor dynamic and into a little communication strategy! This is a favorite lesson/discussion from my Interpersonal class. Useful for in college and out!

I have a confession to make.

I’m a worrier.

At times, when I tell others about what is worrying me, depending on what I’m sharing, the well-intentioned response is:

-“You shouldn’t feel that way”

or

-“You shouldn’t be concerned about that.”

The tone around the phrase is not condescending, but rather a supportive “There, there now…”

Can you guess what happens when someone tells me how I should feel?

White smoke bursts from the ground, swirls around me, and when it clears, I magically feel better (think close-to-end scene from Beauty and the Beast when Beast floats up in the air and becomes the requisite Prince).

So, I’m totally kidding about the smoke…

…and about magically feeling better.

Truth is, hearing how I should feel, regardless of how kindly spoken, negates how I do feel.

In, essence, I’ve just been “should on.”

I don’t like it when other people “should on” me!

(Wonderful readers, can I digress for one moment and ask you to just say that real quick? “Don’t should on me!” It feels sooooo good! Like you’re saying a bad word, but you’re not really saying a bad word… Okay. I’m done now.)

In my Interpersonal Communication and Intro to Communication classes, my students and I discuss the “fallacy of should” every term. Aside from students loving the fun “sounds-like-a-bad-word-but-isn’t” statement, we discuss the underlying messages that a “receiver” could take away from a phrase that includes “should”… (and remember, this is after the “sender” probably shared a feeling or concern that they have, so the person is already vulnerable):

• My feelings don’t matter
• My feelings are not valid
• My feelings are ridiculous
• I am being judged
• My communication partner isn’t interested in delving deeper to find out my true feelings
• (Anyone have any others? Please comment!)

I confess that there are times I’m tempted to “should on” others, too.

Like a fine chocolate, “You should…” rolls around the tongue so smoothly! I am usually well-intentioned when I have these “near-shoulds” because I am truly incredulous that another person feels a particular way.

Case in point: Sometimes, students are worried about extra credit when they clearly don’t need it.

I have to catch myself from saying, “You shouldn’t worry about your grade. You’re doing fine!”

Another example: When students are scared to give a second speech, yet their first speech was absolutely amazing.

My temptation? To say, “You shouldn’t be concerned about that. Look at how well your last speech went.”

But I know that these statements are not productive and not confirming or supportive of what the student actually feels.

So what’s the communication lesson here?

When a person tells you something that is bothering/concerning/worrying them, deal with what the person’s feelings are, not what you believe they should be.

Ask open-ended questions:

• “Why do you feel that way?”
• “What’s making you/leading you to feel that way?”
• “How can I help you feel better?”
• “Is there a way that I can help?”

Allow me to apply a “do-over” to the statements above:

Student A: Wants extra credit, but they are doing fine.

Me: “What is it about your grade that is concerning you?” or “Is there an upcoming assignment that you’re worried about? Let’s talk about how to maximize your points there.”

Student B: Worried about second speech, aced the first speech.

Me: “Can you tell me why you’re concerned? Are you worried about finding credible sources? Was there something about your delivery you want to change?” or, simply, “You did beautifully on the last speech. I have no doubt that if you repeat the process, you’re going to do beautifully once again. I’m glad to listen if you have some specific concerns or if there are ways that I can help.”

Once your communication partner shares their real feelings, listen to them and respond to what they are saying. You can continue to ask questions, if you feel it is appropriate. Don’t sneak in a “should” later in the conversation, though. It will have the same negative effect and possibly shut the person down from saying more.

By now you may be thinking, “I don’t should on others, but, boy, do they ‘should on’ me! What do I do?”

Tell the person straight out, “I appreciate your confidence in me. This situation is really bothering me, though, and I be glad to hear some advice.” You can also ask the person if they will simply listen so you can vent.

Or, if the person sounds negative about your concern, you can say:

“I’m already judging myself all over the place about these feelings. I realize you are trying to help make me feel better. I’d be open to some actual suggestions or even to you just listening.”

Remember, you can’t get your needs met from a communication partner if you don’t assert those needs specifically and directly. People can’t read our minds! Of course, some people don’t have the capacity to refrain from judgment and will always “should” on you. You learn quickly that those are not your “go to” people when you have a problem.

One other quick note: Make sure the tone of what you do say matches your sincere, open-ended questions. If your inflection sounds negative, the person won’t hear what you’re actually saying–they’ll take away those negative feelings of “should” because that’s the message your tone is sending.

Give this communication strategy a try, whether you are a habitual “should-er” or are the recipient of same. I’d love it if you’d comment and report back on how it went! (No disclosure of the actual situation necessary!).

It’s just not nice to “should on” others or to have others “should on” us.

(I had to get it in one last time. Seriously… say it just for fun. There is quite a satisfaction there!).

Many college success guides and blogs include this advice: “Get your professor to notice you.” (I’ve also seen this variation: “Get your professor to like you.”).

From a student perspective, getting a prof to notice and like you sounds like a good thing, doesn’t it? If a prof “notices you”, maybe you’ll get better grades, or the class will be easier. If the prof “likes you”, maybe you can turn in work late or you can be absent more, right?

With those benefits that will likely not happen (sorry to disappoint!), should you take the advice that you read on becoming noticed or liked by your professor? I say that some of it could use a reframe… a tweak, if you will. I’ll explain as I discuss three tips I’ve come across:

Tip #1: Sit in the front row.

I have seen this one more than any others. I struggle with it. Why?

Because history tells me that my most incredibly engaged, contributing students can–believe it or not–sit anywhere in the room, including the very back! And guess what? I “notice” students with their hands raised and their enthusiastic/thoughtful participation in activities and discussion, regardless of their location. I don’t even need a GPS to find them!

Likewise, I’ve seen some students in the front row:

• fail to make regular eye contact
• text
• doodle
• study for other classes

See what I can see in the front row?

Now, granted, I don’t teach 300-student lecture classes. However, even if I did, I find it hard to believe that professors give preferential treatment or more favorable grades to students simply because they recognize them as the front row crew. Also, what if your prof walks around the classroom a lot? Then, that front row is ever-changing, isn’t it?

I totally get that some students in the front row are there because they pay closer attention and they want their profs to see them paying close attention. Other students think about participation points and how it will be easier to receive them in the front row. If your prof has a participation policy, then the onus is on your prof to know who you are and to track your interactions.

The magic isn’t in your seat position; the magic is in you doing what is required to earn those points.

Bottom line? If you love to sit at the head of the class or prefer it for personal or practical reasons, then pitch your tent and stake your claim. But, rest assured that the prof seeing your face isn’t what will get you better grades. Being an active in-class participant will.

Tip #2: Get to know your prof’s interests, even take a jog with him/her on the track. They might become a good friend.

I have seen the term “friend” and “professor” used in tandem too many times for my comfort. This concerns me on two levels: First, the question of whether students and professors should be friends, and second, the idea that befriending the prof and aligning your interests with theirs will grant you better grades.

I believe (and practice in my own career) that there are and should be some personal boundaries between students and professors, and I believe those boundaries stand to greatly benefit students while the professional relationship is in place.

I’m not saying your professor can’t get to know about you on a less-superficial level, and even in some aspects on a deeper level, such as your career aspirations, your concerns about college, as a whole, other professors, your interest in their teaching area, etc.

By all means, if you are having a personal struggle that threatens your classwork, you may choose to share that with your professor. For me, if a student discloses that they are having a major crisis outside of class, I don’t necessarily need details about the issue, but I can help with the in-class ramifications. Likewise, I can guide the student to free counseling services on campus, which, sadly, so few who I have referred actually knew about, but were incredibly thankful once they did!

If you perceive that befriending your professor will improve your grades because you each know each other on a different level, ethically, that should never be the case. In fact, while you look at your professor as a mentor, it is often far, far easier to take their constructive criticism and feedback when you believe that is his/her job.

When your prof is suddenly your jogging buddy, the lines of what their job should be can feel blurry and uncomfortable. Even worse is when you’ve suddenly formed an interest in jogging for the sole (no pun intended!) reason of befriending your prof.

You have all the time in the world after your class to get to know your professor on a different level–if that is agreeable to and comfortable for both of you. But while you’re in class? Let that person be your mentor, your guide, your teacher. Be a professional just like you would in any other work-related setting.

Tip #3: Send your professor an e-mail, even if you don’t know what to say.

Keeping the lines of communication open with your prof is a key recommendation, and I believe that can start even before you enter your first class. The introductory e-mail can make you more comfortable about starting, and provides a springboard for the face-to-face introduction i.e., “I’m the student who e-mailed you.”

However, don’t force a conversation or ask a question just because you think e-mailing your prof is going to get them to remember you or like you. Professors–most people, really–have a sixth sense about when someone is cozying up just to get on their good side. You don’t want to be “noticed” for the wrong reason, like being insincere.

If you want to connect with your prof before your class or after your first class, do it genuinely. You can say one of the following:

• “My name is Ellen Bremen. I wanted to just say hello and tell you I’m looking forward to your class.”
• “I wonder if you have a syllabus I can take a look at before class. I don’t mind if it is one from last term.”
• “I am wondering if you have a policy about early review of work? Are you willing to look at drafts? When should I turn that in?” (this information could be on the syllabus, but definitely ask if it isn’t).
• “I have a concern about this class. What are your office hours so I can come discuss it with you?”
• “I was looking at the content/syllabus/schedule and I have a specific question about _________.”

These are all legitimate questions and, sure, you may earn your professor’s early respect for being proactive. But if you don’t send the e-mail, this does not mean you will not have a good working relationship with your professor.

Remember, while you are in class, your relationship with your professor is business. You don’t need to be “noticed” to get strong grades.

Be engaged.

Be respectful.

Be proactive.

Be diligent and dedicated to excellence in your class work.

And remember, you can do all of these things and sit wherever you feel most comfortable.

My father unexpectedly died just three weeks before I finished a fall semester at my former community college.

Instead of finding out what my options were, I simply stopped going to classes and I ultimately failed those classes. Had I gone to see my profs, I could have learned that there may have been another option available for me:

The “Incomplete” or “I” grade.

What’s an Incomplete?

I’ll give you an example: Let’s say you are watching a movie on your DVR or on a Netflix DVD.

You hit the pause button.

You go to the bathroom.

You go grab some Mountain Dew, maybe some Doritos–the new “Naga Viper” flavor that dissolves 1/3rd of your tongue.

(Just joking about that last part, but really, what’s left to create in the Doritos franchise?)

You settle back in to watch your movie and the phone rings. It’s your long-lost friend from 3rd grade! You have a million years to catch up, so this call will take a while! The movie will have to wait for tomorrow… or a week from now… or six months from now. Doesn’t really matter when you get back to it. Your DVR has plenty of memory; Netflix won’t charge you for being late.

Taking an “I” for a class is just like your experience with this movie (but you get to keep your whole tongue):

• You essentially “pause” your term.
• Your grades and work remain (temporarily) intact.
• You sign a contract with your prof outlining the terms of the work left to complete.
• You discuss a timeline for completion.
• You do not re-pay for the class.
• You do not attend class again (although some “I” contracts will require you to sit in on a class or two, depending on the work you missed and the agreement with your prof).
• You do not fail the class.
• Your transcript grade is an “I”.

You might be thinking, “Hey, what a fantastic solution! I’m crapping out on a class and all I have to do is get my prof to give me one of those ‘I’s so I have some more time.”

The “I” isn’t all good news. You can’t keep it on your transcript forever. In fact, in most cases, colleges will give you up to one year to reverse it. Other colleges may require you complete the “I” by the very next term.

What happens if you don’t complete the incomplete? Very simple:

You fail.

(In other words, your grade reverts back to what it would have been if the prof would have submitted your grade with your unfinished work).

Here are some official incomplete policies from a few institutions:

• University of Arizona
• and the first college I taught at: College of Southern Nevada
• and just for randomness, the University of Toledo (Ohio!)

Important disclaimer: If you are already failing the class, don’t even ask for an Incomplete–the Incomplete is not for redoing work, but simply having an extension to do more good work in addition to the good work you’ve done.

So what do you do next?

Ask your prof about an “I” grade the minute you have a situation that warrants it. Here is what you should have in order to start that conversation:

• A copy of your college’s official “I” grade policy (your prof likely knows what it is, but good for you to investigate yourself)
• Your current grade standing, either hard copy or expert knowledge of it if you ask the prof to bring it up on his/her computer to look at it in the course management system
• A list of the work that you have left to complete
• A date or schedule that you will complete the work (I’ll get back to this one later–the words are bolded for a reason!).

Say, “I have had an unexpected crisis. I do not want to drop this class. According to my records, I currently have a B-average. I see that I have assignment X, Y, and Z still due. I would like to ask for an ‘Incomplete’ so I have a little more time to finish this work. I have a proposal for the dates that I can finish this work.”

Making your case in this way sounds so, so much more professional than what profs usually hear at the end of the term: “Guess I’m going to fail!” or “What can I do?” Your professor will be impressed that you are taking responsibility for your actions and approaching the situation in an assertive, fact-based manner.

Let’s talk about the prof’s perspective for a minute, particularly if that person isn’t doing backflips over your request.

Why the lack of love for the “I”? In my personal experience, for all the work that goes into drawing up the contract, keeping track of the student’s grade possibly two terms down the road, here’s a fact: Less than 3% of students actually do the work to reverse their “I” grade!

Again, just my experience (Colleagues reading, weigh in?). I have submitted very, very, very, very few grade changes over the years to reverse an “I”. The idea seems like a life-saver in the moment, but students mentally move on and forward. Or, sometimes they decide to retake the class anyway. Or forget about the class entirely and keep their F.

Regardless of the prof’s perspective, the “I” policy is there for a reason. And, I was a student for whom the “I” could have made a big difference. You might be one of those students, too.

So, I say, pose the question and listen to what your prof has to say.

Then, commit to a schedule to finish the work so you can reverse the “I”!

(Hint: You usually have a break right after your last day of school. You asked for an extension: You could finish your work over that break and then be done with it, submitting it to the prof right when you both return to school.)

One other disclaimer: If your prof refuses to entertain the “I” and you feel you have a strong case, you might have to take the situation to your prof’s division chair for an outside perspective. You don’t want to play this card unless you have to, but sometimes it is necessary. Your prof may refuse for a valid reason–such as that he/she will be on leave for the next term or academic year–and the division chair might be able to find someone else to take the “I” over. It may be uncomfortable, but you can say to your prof: “Can you and I take this to the division/department chair for more help with my situation?”

My heartfelt wish for all of my students is that they don’t go through a loss like I did when I was in college. I’d much prefer that a student take a hiatus for a happy event, like the birth of a baby or a loved one coming back from deployment.

Regardless of the reason, if life thwaps you upside the head while you are trying to “do school,” an Incomplete may save your hard, almost-earned college credits.

(Addendum: For my situation where I failed both classes, “Academic Renewal” was another option. Academic Renewal–may be called something different at your college–erases an entire term from your transcript. Look into the official policy at your college. There are usually some pretty tight rules around it and the ramifications may not be as pleasant as the idea, but something for you to know).

In my last post about Asking for Help (it’s the new smart, remember?), I discussed that when students begin to struggle in a class, they silence themselves. In fact, they may become so silent that they turn invisible—as in, they stop coming to class altogether. Then, not only does the student fail to ask for help, but they risk a zero for the class (a transcript killer!) if they don’t go to the Registrar’s office and drop it.

Of course, rather than get the zero, a drop is always the best option. But, please, before you take this option, really think about why you are dropping and talk to your professor first.

Let’s start with the why:

Disliking the professor, finding the work too hard, too much, or not getting the grades that you believe you deserve are not good reasons to drop a class. They are the most common reasons students do drop, however.

If you don’t like a professor, guess what? “Like” in the student-professor relationship is a wonderful bonus (and a bonus that you will probably have, more often than not!), but not a given. You are supposed to learn from a professor, be treated fairly, and have a comfortable working relationship. That relationship is finite. If you are bored or just plain don’t click with the person, this is still not a reason to drop. A term is only 10-15 weeks at most. You can deal with almost anything when there is an end in sight.

If you aren’t getting the grades you feel you deserve, there are also ways to deal with that. You first communicate with your professor (yes, even if you don’t like them!). That doesn’t work? You advocate for yourself and take your argument higher (saving this discussion for a later blog post). Still, you don’t drop the course.

Think of the broader ramifications of dropping a course:

• You will likely lose money–or someone will lose money–if you’re past a certain date;

and

• Depending on the class, you delay the inevitable. You will have to take the class again!

If you stay, you will gain far, far more by dealing with that frustrating prof/assignment/class-as-a-whole head-on than if you simply bail out.

Look at sticking with the class as a selfish move, if you have to: Every day is one less day that you never have to see this prof, class, or topic again. Why on earth would you want to start over?

Have I convinced you? I hope so! Here’s what you do next:

• Go to your prof at the very first sign of trouble and be specific with your problem. Don’t just say, “I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.”

Say, “I’m starting to feel a little confused about X concept or X chapter and am concerned that I may not get through this class.” You can also say, “I got totally lost when you went over X.”

If you missed work (hopefully you deal with the problem before this happens!), tell the prof, “I missed the last assignment because I did not understand it. I should have come to you sooner and I will next time. I can have the assignment to you by Tuesday. Will you still accept it? Will you help me ‘get it’?”

• Tell your prof if you have a life situation that threatens your success in the class. But do it the second you know that there is a problem! I can’t tell you how many students tell me that a disaster was unfolding after the fact! E-mail your prof, call them, make an appointment, but tell them! You never have to disclose what is going on, you can say: “I have had an unexpected life emergency and I worry that it will threaten my success in this class. Can you help me figure out if I can still pass?” (Or get ____ grade, if that is your goal).

If you are taking an on-campus class, maybe you can transition to an online class to finish up your term. Maybe you can take an “Incomplete” in the course, depending on your school’s policy or how the rest of your work has gone. But don’t just drop without investigating all of your options!

• Remember the other support services at your college ALL designed to help you: Your counseling center, tutoring centers, math resource centers, even your librarians. Utilize these people and put them on your “stay in class” team. It’s what they are there for!

• Keep the feedback loop going with your prof. Follow through! Say, “I did what you recommended. Would you please take a look again? I am still feeling unsure.” Go ask for help as many times as you need it. Just because you had one conversation doesn’t mean that’s the end. Follow up on your plan.

The one disclaimer to these recommendations: If you have not attended class all term or you have missed a ton of work without contacting your prof, catching yourself back up and having your prof’s support to do that is going to be extremely difficult. Then, unfortunately, you may have to drop the class or take the grade consequence, if you’ve passed the drop date. If a major life emergency is the reason that you didn’t go to class and you do end up with a failing grade, your Registrar’s office can help you identify your options.

As a student, you never, ever have to struggle in silence. Don’t drop classes and simply fade away. Use your voice to get you the resources to succeed. As I said in my last post, your professor—and everyone else on campus—signed up to support you.

(This post is another retool from my Chatty Professor blog. I wrote it as a welcome to college love letter, if you will. My revision of this message for Campus Talk Blog is a continued personal plea: Don’t suffer in silence! Read on… then start asking! You can even write into this blog and ask a question—I’m glad to help.)

You’ve just received an assignment or exam with a grade that you aren’t happy about.

Or maybe you didn’t submit an assignment at all because you were confused. You thought that somehow, some way, you’d figure it out. But then you didn’t, and the deadline passed.

Quite possibly, you’ve stopped attending one of your classes. You realized early on you were in over your head. Now you’re just not showing up, but you haven’t withdrawn from the class either.

When students face these situations, the one thing that they typically don’t do is the one thing that has the greatest chance of solving the problem. Ready?

Asking for help!

There seems to be a widespread perception that asking for help equals weakness. I want to start a revolution that supports asking for help as a sign of strength. In fact, I’m spreading this phrase:

Asking for help is “the new smart”!

I teach my public speaking students that when they verbally cite credible sources in their speeches, they should picture themselves carrying the experts from those sources piggyback… sort of like a “credibility totem pole.” Or, like acrobats who flip and land on the shoulders of a “catcher.”

Think of this image when you use the “smarts” of others to support you. Asking others for help means that you carry their knowledge and wisdom on your shoulders. Then, you become stronger in your own knowledge.

College is the place to ask for help!

You can phrase it any way you like from:

-”Can you help?”

to

-”I don’t know what in the heck is going on here and I need to figure it out”

or

-”I’m totally lost and would like not to be.”

You can even approach the question somewhat covertly or abstractly:

-”I think I have an idea of what we’re supposed to be doing, but just want to ensure that I’m correct”

or

-”I’m missing the mark on this particular concept and I think I know why.”

Bottom line:

The minute you become too proud or ashamed to ask for help is the minute that you’ve made a decision about the outcome of a troubling situation.

Ready for another bottom line?

Smart people don’t have all the answers, but they know when they don’t have them. Then, they strive to figure out where to get them. Now, I consider myself a pretty smart woman, but I don’t attribute my smartness to my degrees or my academic career.

I am smart because I am unafraid to find the people who know more and learn from them when I’m stuck.

Whether you are in high school or college, be selfish. Build your own “smart totem pole” or “acrobatic routine of brilliance.”

At the very least, open your mouth and ask for help from the people who have signed up to give it to you.

Need more ammunition? Read this USA Today College piece by an actual student who got over her fear of asking for help and went for it–with impressive results!

As a student, you are going to come across a fair number of opinions regarding online courses. You might even hear some data about how many students don’t succeed in online courses, how many students don’t transfer, etc. Unfortunately, this data, whether reliable or not, makes great press and triggers spirited discussions about how solid online courses are or aren’t. After working with thousands of students, many of whom could literally not experience college without the flexibility that hybrid/online classes offer, I prefer to focus on what you can do to be successful before going into your online course. So, read on!)

Believe it or not, if you are contemplating an online, hybrid, weekend college, or any other type of non-traditional course in the fall, you can take action to increase your chances for success right now. It would take me 20 posts to discuss all of my tips for being a strong online student. So, let’s just focus on five items you can work on today. And, as is typical with my advice, you’ll see a communication twist. Ready? Here goes:

1. Talk about your readiness for distance learning and realistically assess whether or not it is for you.

Talk to a prof who is well-known for online learning (doesn’t even have to be one whose class you will be in), a student who loved online learning and one who didn’t love it, an educational adviser, or even by taking a distance learning readiness quiz like this one or this one (or one that your college offers!).

Sound like a lot of investment and time? Well, if you are planning to be a full or part-time career online student, finding out what online learning really looks like is worth that time.

Even more important: find out before you register for an online course, not after, and not in the first week of the course (if you can help it). If the technology or the characteristics of online learning sound like they are not for you, and the issues are not things you can readily overcome (like that you will never like reading large amounts of material online), then online learning may not be for you at this time. Have those conversations to find out the truth about this unique delivery mode. Doing so will increase your chances of success and give you time to get into a face-to-face class, weekend class, evening class, etc. that still works for your schedule.

2. Discuss the obligations of online learning with anyone who has the potential to support you (or hold you back).

Many, many of my students do their online work in the early morning, late evening, and some float in and out of the course site while they are at their jobs (not that I’m saying this is the ideal). In a traditional class, you have set times for your learning and you are conveniently away from work or home. Online learning will be very different. You will be in the thick of the exact distractions you are usually away from.

So, whoever it is that you are taking time away from–your parents, spouse, kids, boss, lizard, etc.–to “do school” needs to be on board and agreeable to your time needs. If they are not, then you may need to secure a different place to do your work (Starbucks? Library? Mountain top with wireless?) or actually be out of the house for the set times of a face-to-face class.

3. Talk to an adviser or a prof about classes that would be better suited for you to take online–and those from which you’d benefit from face-to-face attention.

In my college years, and even today, I could easily take an English class online, but algebra or science? No way. I need complete face-to-face contact to help me through my most challenging subjects. I know myself: My first fluster over equations or cells and I would just shut off my computer and get some ice cream (in another city so that way I would have a commute excuse for not going back to the computer!).

Be truthful with yourself about those subjects that would make sense for you to take online and which ones absolutely won’t work. The only exception to this is if a) you are willing to get additional help with that topic, either from the prof, a tutor, or another resource entirely; and b) if you have the time to dedicate to bringing yourself up to speed–even with that help.

4. Once you’ve decided that you might want to take an online class, get in touch with the prof, get a syllabus, and ask questions before the class starts.

I can’t tell you how many students start my online public speaking class or my intro class and then are flummoxed to find that they need equipment to record speeches, a five-person audience, a well-lit location for recording, a way to upload presentations, etc. Fortunately, I send my online students a welcome letter detailing these requirements a few weeks before the term starts. Some students drop immediately because they don’t want the hassle of recording themselves. I totally respect this decision and applaud it! These students are giving themselves a greater chance at success.

Not every prof sends a welcome letter or gives students a heads-up about requirements, however, so you may have to search out details about the class structure yourself. Get in touch with the prof, say to that person:

-”I am going to be a student in your online class this fall. Do you have a syllabus from last term and a sample schedule that I could take a look at?”

or

-”I’m thinking about taking your online class and want to see if this is the right format for me. Do you have a… (repeat the above).”

If the prof is not there because it’s summer, then contact that person’s department secretary, who often works year-round and hopefully isn’t in Bermuda at the time you’re calling. You can also go to a coordinator, department chair, or division chair. If all else fails, you can contact your educational planning office. Someone should be able to get you access to a syllabus.

When you get the syllabus and schedule, read these documents closely!

Most students want to know, “How much time will I be expected to spend online?”

There may be an explicit statement about this in the syllabus, but you may be able to gauge it in other ways: Look at the amount of discussion board points or a list of discussion board requirements. Lots of discussion board equals lots of online interaction. You’re going to need to read posts, post your own posts, and respond to each other’s posts–maybe a whole bunch. You can also look for group work or online reading assignments. This equals more time online. (And I’m not even mentioning e-mailing with your prof or other classmates, doing online activities, etc. This should be laid out in the syllabus).

Another point to examine: The number of days/weeks that you have in between assignments for help/feedback, and even the prof’s e-mail response time. You will be able to get a feel for how the course operates.

If you are still unsure about anything, e-mail the prof and ask some specific questions, not just a general “How does this class work?”. You can also–gasp!–pick up the phone and call the prof or go make an in-person appointment.

Two important notes to this: Your prof is required to be on campus a week to several days before you are required to be there. That person will likely have pre-campus meetings and his/her “out of office” may still be on e-mail, but at the least, when he/she is checking and responding to e-mail again, yours will be waiting.

Second note: You typically will have access to your course management system earlier than your first actual class start date. Log in and check out the site. This will also give you important information about the course structure.

If you start to feel seriously nervous, ill, sweaty, nauseous, etc., your mind and body may be telling you something. If you truly do not believe you can handle the workload, the schedule, the requirements, or that you have the dedication for this type of learning system, then listen to that gut feeling and read tip #5 below.

5. If you find yourself under water before or during the first week or your circumstances have changed, tell your prof and find another class option.

My message here is do not just fade away from your online course without letting someone know that you have a) changed your mind about this mode of delivery; or b) a life circumstance will prevent you from being in school at all.

When students have negative perceptions about education because they feel insecure about an online course, it is easy for them to become lost from the system. Do not let this happen to yourself!

If the class is not right for you, go to the prof immediately and say, “I have realized that the online version of this course is not right for me. Can you help me find a face-to-face course that would work for my schedule?” You may also be able to find a hybrid course that meets partly online and partly face-to-face, an evening class, or a weekend class.

Yes, the rest of the classes may be closed. However, there might be some wiggle room since you are an existing student.

If the prof can’t help you, get an adviser to assist from your Ed Planning office (or equivalent) to figure out what you can still do in that term.

The bottom line is, do something–don’t just fall out of college entirely just because an online class didn’t work out. Take even one class so you maintain your momentum.

Bottom line? Know what you’re getting yourself into. Do as much pre-work to find out as you can. And by all means, ask tons of questions.

You can even ask me questions about online learning. Write a comment or send an e-mail to chattyprof@gmail.com.

If I don’t know, I have a bunch of colleagues out there who might. And our goal is to keep you out of the negative online student statistics and rather a gigantic, monumental college success.

(Okay, that was totally cheesy, but I’m sticking to it! Seriously, send on some comments or questions. Colleagues, if you have other pre-term tips for students in online classes, I’ll update this post!).