When summer break began this year I didn’t know what to expect. In fact, I thought I wouldn’t be seeing much of my college student because she’d planned on traveling, moving into her apartment and doing a couple of other things that didn’t include me. (Yes, I was pouting.) Now that I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with her this summer I do not want her to go back to school for the fall. What’s this first-time college mom to do as the time draws closer for her student to return to school? Redirect my attention: Each time she talks about needing to be at school; I conveniently can’t hear her. Ignore her: If she asks for something she needs in order to get ready for school I pretend like I can’t hear her. See the trend here? And my favorite: Cry: Every … [Read more...]

When I comment on my daughter’s Facebook page my friends are amazed. When we share our feelings or encouragement for each other on our walls, I see comments telling Amber, my daughter, to spy on their children or relaying how sweet we are. They say their children won’t accept their friendships on social networks. I’m somewhat amazed by this, but over the years – after talking to my own teenager daughter about her friends’ relationships with their parents – I’ve realized that my relationship with her is somewhat of an anomaly. She tells the tales of arguments, sneaking out, disobeying, disrespect and much more than I’ve experienced thus far as a parent. Honestly, I’m now concerned because I can only hope I have the same “luck” with my other three children that I had … [Read more...]

I'm a firm believer in college students being involved on their campuses with organizations, study groups and extracurricular activities. I also believe they should take the opportunities to study overseas, get part-time jobs and participate in internships. Some people may think college students are busy enough so they don't need any additional activities, but those activities hold a two-fold function: 1) Gaining "world" knowledge and experiences as well as 2) Learning selflessness. It's the subject of selflessness that prompted me to write this post (and a similar one on my personal blog, It's a woman's world!). If you've been following along here you know I'm the parent of four children with the oldest being almost 20 years old. That honor has given me the distinct title of being the … [Read more...]

With 2011 came a lot of changes for me and my family. One of those changes was moving from a home to an apartment. The hardest part of the change for me was moving into a place that isn't exactly big enough for me and all of my children. It’s an adequate size for me and the three youngest children, but it doesn't accommodate my adult child – my college student. That was actually a difficult decision for me to make. As a mother, I make choices based on what’s best for me and my children. What I’m learning – and getting used to – is that the choices I make now may or may not include my adult child. My concern is how those types of decision will affect her. One thing Amber and I have working for us is our close relationship. Over the past six months or so I've inquired of … [Read more...]

When I thought about writing this post I was just going to dive in and get started. The topic, which I’ll explore in a couple of weeks, was going to be about how moving the family household affects your college student. The reason I’m not talking about this today is because I’ve been away for a few months on a little hiatus. (You can read more about that on my blog, It’s a woman’s world!) So, to me, it seemed wrong just to pop back in. Let’s review some of the things I’ve talked about before: On January 11th, I talked about changing your inner dialogue. It started when I reread Millicent St. Claire’s book “Simply Ridiculous: A Realization and Transformation of Ridiculous Beliefs and Behaviors.” Using the example of road rage and relying on Millicent’s book, I … [Read more...]

“Ugh, if they weren’t driving so slowly I’d be there by now,” I ranted as I drove then mumbled, “They need to learn how to drive.” My face got a little hot and the irritation rose within me. Then suddenly something dawned on me: I was placing the blame on someone else instead of looking at myself. All I had to do was get up on time and this entire scenario and aggravation wouldn’t even have happened. Where did the thought come from? I had recently been reading Millicent St. Claire’s book “Simply Ridiculous: A Realization and Transformation of Ridiculous Beliefs and Behaviors” and a portion of it popped into my head. “When things got tough, I took the easy way out – I made everyone bad and wrong for everything. Denial made this easy and convenient. (and I … [Read more...]

There isn’t too much that surprises me nowadays so when I hear about the unfortunate violence and senseless murders on college campuses; I’m not shocked, but I am dismayed. Last year when it was time for my daughter to begin touring campuses in anticipation of her freshman year, one of the things we both looked for was the security measures implemented by the campuses. The majority of campuses we visited have call boxes on their grounds and roaming security personnel. At Georgia College & State University, where Amber is now in the midst of her second year, has those two things in place as well as an emergency button within each of the four bedrooms of her suite and one in the common area. In addition to those measures, the institution also has a text system that’s used when … [Read more...]

I cannot imagine what it is like to have a child with a disability, but as a parent I have had chronically ill children who need extra care and that probably gave me a .2 percent taste of the difficulties the parents and the children have in living a mainstream life. What is even more difficult to consider is having an adult child with a disability and sending them off to college. Once again I was perusing Amber’s college’s website and happened upon an article about a young lady, with a visual impairment, who is graduating from GCSU. The article “Graduating Senior Navigates Her Way through Life” tells about ShaQuantaey “Taey” Mack who has earned a bachelor’s degree in sociology and criminal justice. The article got me to thinking: What do students with disabilities need … [Read more...]

"Paging Dr. Lloyd... paging Dr. Lloyd." As a parent it’s a given that our children are going to sometimes – well, more likely, often – reject our ideas and suggestions. It really doesn’t matter what age they are: It starts when they’re about 2 or 3 years old when you accidentally pose the question, “Do you want to wear this dress today?” What you meant was, “You’re wearing this dress today,” but since you posed it as a question you got an answer. “No.” Then middle school rolls around and you ask whether your child is going to try out for the basketball team. No. Play an instrument? No. Finally, you realize this person who came from your loins has their own opinions, desires and dreams. But, don’t forget, that doesn’t mean you can’t – or shouldn’t … [Read more...]

I was perusing Georgia College & State University’s website and noticed a link on the News & Events page that read, “Macon Telegraph, April 25, 2010, ‘Finding a job is tough task for new college grads.’” Of course the state of the economy concerns me for my situation, but I think about it for my oldest daughter, Amber, who attends GCSU. I have assumed that the state of the nation will have changed by then, but I must think practically. If what this article says is true then my daughter, who won’t have her first degree until about 2013/14, needs to start positioning herself and doing the legwork now to ensure her place in the world of the working class. Although some students who are finding it difficult to obtain employment after graduation are choosing to obtain a … [Read more...]

One of the goals at CampusTalkBlog is to provide you with information that is going to help, inspire and encourage you. There’s an addition to that goal in my little portion of the blog here at Parents' Perspective and that’s to give you bits and pieces of myself so you can learn from me and feel a certain kinship. Some of my experiences as a first-time college mom, and a parent in general, are rather personal. They are things that I don’t normally share with everyone especially my blogosphere friends (I blog at "It’s a Woman’s World" as well) because I’m either embarrassed, ashamed and, quite frankly, it just ain’t nobody’s business. At least that’s what my mom used to say. Then it dawned on me: I don’t have the secret life of a stripper by night and a blogger by … [Read more...]

This Christmas will only be the second one that I've spent without my oldest daughter Amber. I've known for about the past four months that she plans on going to Texas because her oldest sister is having a baby around Christmas Day. As the day approaches I feel more and more dread about her Christmas-time absence... Over the past 19 and a half years we've established traditions that have not only solidified our relationship but that we really look forward to each year. Honestly, the holiday season is not the same without my baby. Yes, I have other children who are ages 7, 5 and 3, but the traditions I've developed with them have always included Amber. What this has made me come to grips with is that my daughter is very close to totally leading a separate life from me. This, of course, … [Read more...]

I am not one to always follow the statistics of one study or another, but there are often some findings, reports and articles that jump out from a page and entice me to read them. For instance, this is the Atlanta Journal Constitution headline that grabbed my attention today: “40% of Georgia college students don’t finish…” Of course this would interest me because I have a daughter who just completed her freshman year at Georgia College & State University and, to top it off, she is a chemistry major, which is a program that has a high drop-out rate. Amber says she knows a few people who have dropped that major since last semester. The two main reasons she’s heard for dropping out are 1) the student doesn’t like the subject as much as they thought they would and 2) the … [Read more...]

This first-time college mom is learning something new almost every day about the ins and outs of having a kid in college. And, as you may well know, it isn’t all peaches and cream. When Amber told me she was going to take classes this past summer at a local college (see: Summer, Summer, Summer Time) here in Atlanta I supported her 100 percent. She had talked to her advisor and determined it would be the best course of action. She did everything necessary to get herself enrolled. In the midst of that and her finals she kept me informed; the first thing I learned was she would be a “transient student.” As soon as she got home for the summer from GCSU she needed to finalize everything at the “new” school. Almost immediately the first dilemma presented itself: One of her … [Read more...]

Ever since my oldest daughter was in middle school (and probably younger) she has wanted to be a pediatrician. I, of course, have been supportive of this career choice, but one thing I have also encouraged is a thought pattern toward being a business owner. For me, that means encouraging Amber to obtain her medical degree and also pursue opening her own practice. This isn’t a new “lecture” that I’ve given; I’ve been trying to get her to think more businesslike for as long as I can remember. For instance, almost every hobby or creative spurt she’s had I’ve suggested that she try selling the item/product and build a customer base. When we made jewelry and her friends told her how much they liked her pieces, I suggested she make some to sell. When she developed an interest … [Read more...]

A review of “College Sense for Parents” audio edition by Tawan Perry With so much to do as a parent it’s hard to find the time to get everything done including discovering and absorbing all the information available regarding sending your children to college. Not to worry because Tawan Perry has done most of the work for us in his audio book “College Sense for Parents.” Tawan includes about 70 tips on how to save money on textbooks, application fees, tuition, housing costs, tests and more. What I like most about Common Sense is that the tips are given in short, quick bursts of information that are easy to understand. Not only does he give the information, but he provides website URLs where you can go to follow up, apply or find more information. Here is a quick peek at some … [Read more...]

I don’t know about you, but being the parent of a college student and weeding through all of the information can be a little overwhelming. You’ve read a book about college scholarships, filled out the FAFSA and checked out a magazine article on the subject while perusing the web. Add to that all the documents and rules provided by your student’s chosen institution and you’re in definite information overload. And now here’s CampusTalkBlog CampusTalkBlog provides information for the campus activities crowd through our extracurricular “subject matter experts" that helps colleges and universities increase student involvement and student retention. "We also use this blog to increase our understanding of the needs, challenges and opportunities in the area of student involvement … [Read more...]

It dawned on me that I spend so much time talking about Amber, but you don’t get to hear too many things in her exact words. With her never-ending support (so true!) and her extreme enthusiasm at doing this (semi true!), I am super excited to share Amber’s thoughts on being a college student. The Q&A session with Amber was really a lot of fun, and I want to encourage other parents to ask these questions of their college students. Although Amber and I are very close there were still a few things that I learned that I didn’t already know. Asking specific questions should garner you specific answers and information, and it will also serve as a moment when you can simply listen to hear what going on in their lives. Enjoy this conversation then take a moment to leave a comment … [Read more...]

It’s that time of year again where college students are returning to their campuses. Some, like my daughter who returned to Georgia College and State University, are happy to return and excited to get started on another year. And others aren’t quite as thrilled. Regardless of the emotions surrounding moving back to campus, there’s one thing everyone has to do: Pack and move. Here are a few tips to keep in mind – for parents and students – as you’re making the transition: Check your financial status online before making the journey. Believe it or not, quite a few students get to the point of checking into their dorm only to discover that they haven’t been assigned due to an outstanding problem on their account. Sometimes this is a school error, but regardless of who’s … [Read more...]

I remember what it was like for the Spring semester to be coming to a close and the desire to enjoy the summer tickling at my insides. It would be great to go to the beach, I thought, travel with friends or lounge around and read books to my little heart's content. That was the fantasy. The reality was that as soon as school was over - and even before - I would be working my little fingers to the bone. For today's student that’s often the same reality. Although there's nothing wrong with taking a little vacation, I think it's a good idea that students make use of their time in one of several ways: … [Read more...]

This may be a bit off the beaten path, but I don't think it makes the subject any less relevant. And I know Millicent St. Claire will agree. More about her in a minute. I believe that in order to have any measure of success one of the things that should to be in order is your emotional state and, oftentimes, that state isn't given as much attention as other areas. For instance, individuals spend a lot of time and attention on their physical appearance, on their intellect and other areas, but ignore what's happening within their head and heart. Why am I talking about this? Because ensuring that our college students are straight emotionally plays a huge part in their academic success - and eventually their career and life success. … [Read more...]