Ok, here’s the thing…

I like reaching goals.

I am an achievement junkie.

I am really into setting an objective, quantifying it, putting together a plan, and then going after it with everything that I have.

That is cool to me. It gives me energy and excitement. Provides purpose.

When I was in elementary school, I set a goal of being 6’3” tall. I am 6’2”. Not bad. Almost got there. Betcha didn’t know height is controlled by goal setting! Are you short? Raise the bar, set a higher goal!

Sometimes, though, it makes me do goofy things. Take for example, “Gonzo’s Great Gold Quest”. This was my attempt to achieve my goal of qualifying as a Gold Medallion member of Delta Airlines Sky Miles program.

Why was that important?

Because I had missed it by only a few thousand miles each of the past three years. So, earlier in the fall, I started plotting to see if I could make it to Gold without having to take any extraneous/unnecessary flights. [Delta requires you to actually fly the miles for MQM status except in cases of certain credit card holders] I was well positioned coming into the fall, as I was more than half-way to my goal. My first gig of the fall was in southern Texas. That’s a long way from Atlanta! Alas, Delta could not get me to my airport destination: Midland/Odessa. Welcome back, Continental, my old friend. Seeing Kirk Cameron (“Growing Pains”) on my flight from Houston to Midland/Odessa was a small consolation for not adding to my Delta total.

I added miles on subsequent trips, but then hit a few speed bumps. Georgia Southern University? Great school, had an awesome time. Three hour drive from my house and no commercial airport in Statesboro. Blackhawk Technical College in southern Wisconsin on Friday and Waubonsee Community College about an hour and half south of there on Saturday? Great! Flew up on Delta! Problem. Two gigs, one flight. And the only return that worked was on the Friendly Skies of United.

This type of subversion of my goal continued throughout the fall. Until finally, I calculated that I was going to come up 8,850 miles short of my goal, missing Gold for a third straight year. What to do?

I started plotting flights to Seattle, Anchorage, Los Angeles, anywhere that I could rack up miles. But, the costs were too prohibitive. What to do?

Then, I lucked out. On the day after Thanksgiving I found my answer. I was messing around with a couple of different travel sites as well as the Delta site, when I came across a $270 round trip airfare from Atlanta to LAX. What? How could that be? But, there it was. If I flew from Atlanta to LAX on Tuesday, December 15, I could fly there and then right back for that low price and pick up 3,892 miles. Boy, was this great!

But, it would still leave me over 5,000 miles short of my goal. Hmmmm, is it possible to do this roundtrip scenario and then… Could I do it again?

A few clicks on my keyboard and yes, I could do it again, and for the same price. I would fly from Atlanta to LAX at 7:30 in the morning, landing at 9:29 am local time and then return on the same plane at 10:40 am, arriving into Atlanta at 5:30 pm. I would have to change concourses, but I could then get on a flight back to LAX at 6:40 pm, which would arrive there at 8:50 pm. I would have a two-hour layover, until 10:55 pm before I would board the return trip to Atlanta. This would get me within 1100 miles of my Gold status!

It meant, however, that I had to find somewhere else to fly inexpensively. Chicago was not enough miles, New York was too expensive. Memphis and Savannah were close, but the pricing and timing would not work. Wait! I grew up in Wisconsin and go back there to speak. Milwaukee is 669 miles away according to Delta. So, if I fly roundtrip…

I would have it! Genius! Except for one thing…

How do I sell this to Honey Sweetie Darling, otherwise known as my wife?

“Duh dunt duuuuuuuhhhh!” (he said in a dramatic voice)…

She had been running some errands on this day. I waited to see what kind of mood she was in when she came home. Bought some new clothes for our daughter, got all of her errands done, seemed happy enough. This seemed like as good a time as any to bring up this subject.

I was wrong.

“You want to do what?” she asked incredulously. I stayed calm and like Ralphie going for a Red Ryder BB gun, I maintained my focus. I showed her the travel sites and all of the flights that I had saved. I discussed the cost with her, but pointed out that by making it to Gold status, I could earn a free flight four times faster, which would cover some of the cost, and my Sky Club membership would be less. I also promised to write about the trip (here I am!) in order to hopefully reap some business benefit as a result. After all of my cajoling, she agreed but wanted to know, “When do I get to go on a silly trip?”

Some questions just can’t be answered in the moment.

I quickly set about booking the flights, so she could not change her mind. Within about 45 minutes, all flights were booked and I was committed to this project. I got really excited and started to tell other people about it. A good friend of mine just smiled and his eyes glossed over. “I want to go” was all he could say. Sorry, this would be my adventure. Over 9,000 miles in 30 hours. How fun was this going to be!

Or so I thought. The closer the trip got, the more I had second thoughts…

“What if the weather is bad?”

“What am I going to do all of that time?”

“What if I run into a travel delay somewhere along the line?”

“What if Delta finds some way not to award me Gold status?”

“What am I doing?”

I was a little nervous, but that kept the adrenaline flowing. Then I got an idea. Why not submit this trip to the Guinness Book of World Records for consideration as a world record. I went to their web site and found I could submit my request on line. I submitted it for consideration as “Most Miles Flown on Commercial Airlines within the Continental United States in a 24-Hour Period”. I was just submitting the ATL to LAX portions, 7784 miles. I was hoping to hear from them before I took the trip, but the web site told me that it takes 3-4 weeks to certify a record attempt. I could have paid to “fast track” it, but since I was going to fly anyway, I didn’t see any point in that. Now my trip was taking on some exciting dimensions. I recorded a video in my basement talking about the trip to let my friends and social media followers know what was going on.

I wanted to do more, though, so I hit upon an idea. What if I were to make a video of me getting ready for my big day, “practicing” some of the stuff that I would experience? I got very excited and enlisted my friend Marc and we went to the local mall and shot me doing things like running through the airport—in slow motion, riding escalators, grabbing food on the run, and more. We called it “Gonzo’s Gold Quest Preview”  and we did the video on the Saturday prior to Tuesday, the day my travel would begin.

I had a hard time going to sleep the night before this trip. I had my alarm set for 4 am and I think I got about 2 ½ hours of sleep. I was scared to go to sleep, lest I oversleep and miss the whole thing! That did not happen and I put on some comfortable clothes and got ready to go to the airport. I asked my wife to send out a note to my e-newsletter list about the trip and to encourage people to watch Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube for updates. She shot a picture of me that was clearly posed, but with a 5:30 am backdrop.

I drove to the airport, parked, and headed into the terminal. I had no bags to check, since I intended to wear the same clothes the whole trip. Hey, if I can live with myself, so can the people around me. It also meant that once I went through security in Atlanta, I could complete all six of my flights without having to go back through again.

My first flight, from Atlanta to LAX was from Gate T-4, which is right past security. This was a good break, since I would not have to ride the train to get to my concourse. I hit the Delta Sky Club to use some free internet to update Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Then, I headed to the gate and boarded the plane. I am seated in the back section of the plane, in the first row past the bulkhead. Nobody is seated on either side of me.

I sat in the middle seat, feeling like Captain Kirk, with the huge monitor in front of me. I would be able to follow my flight all across the country. When I was awake. Since I did not get a lot of sleep, I thought that I would spend most of this first flight sleeping. I was just about to doze off when the pilot came on to tell us about the flight ahead of us.

I am not making this up.

Our pilot was “American Top 40’s” Casey Kasem. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Our flight today should be smooth and last about 4 hours. Just enough time to count down the hits. Let’s start with a long distance dedication from Delta to Gonzo. Written by John Denver in 1966, it is “Leaving on a Jet Plane”. As I am listening to the song and drifting off to sleep, I heard the pilot come over the intercom and say, “And now, on with the countdown.”

I might have been a little sleep-deprived and that could be affecting my memory.

I woke up when the food cart came by and I got an Egg Salad Wrap. A delicious blend of cream cheese, spicy Pepper Jack cheese, and Boars Head Mesquite Smoked Turkey. It was topped with egg salad, roasted red peppers, black beans, and then rolled inside sun-dried tomato pitas, making two perfect snack sized wraps. Served with a side of salsa. $7.00

The guy across the aisle got a bag of peanuts. Free.

I might have gotten ripped off.

My plan was to run to the Sky Club as soon as I landed to update Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The flight goes well. I wake up with a little turbulence over Memphis, but go back to sleep a little while later. When I wake up again, I see hills and mountains out the right hand side of the plane. There is snow on top of some of the peaks. It is a beautiful sight. We are near LA. How cool!

I still have over 7,000 miles to go before I am done.

Got off the plane, took a picture with my cell phone of an “I Love LA” store to prove I was there and went to the Sky Club. I got my boarding pass for the return to Atlanta since I could not get it on-line.

Here is my update post from Facebook, no time to record a video:

AT LAX, 1st leg done! 1941 miles covered, 7062 to go. Slept most of flight. Back to ATL at 1:30 EST, writing my Sermon on the Mount book. Btw, showing how to buckle a seat belt?? Really, FAA, really? If you can’t buckle on the ground, when you fly, you get bounced around! Food so far? Mmmm, peanuts. Tasty, tasty peanuts. They started boarding my flight back to Atlanta at 9:50 am, I get to the gate at 10:00 am. There is a long line, however, as a Silver Medallion member I have breezeway privileges. It is a wonderful thing! I cruise past the line and get on the plane. I have an exit row, bulk head seat. Sweet! I do not have the aisle, but that is OK. There is actually space between my seat and the wall of the plane. The guy in the window seat in the row behind me is able to stretch his legs out next to my seat. I sleep some more and, apparently, I snore. I wake up at one point, over Memphis when things were a little shaky, and I am looking towards the interior of the plane. The guy in the aisle seat next to me is staring right at me.

Clearly, he hates me. I don’t care. I doze off again, only to be awakened by a presence. I look up and there is “Stretch” from the row behind me, sliding past me, between my seat and the wall on his way to the restroom. He is wearing an inflatable pillow on the back of his neck, kind of like the HANS device that race car drivers wear. The only thing I can think of is, “Are we swapping paint with another plane” (Yes, I have watched some NASCAR in my time.)

We land in Atlanta at gate T-1. My flight back to LAX leaves from gate E-10. You almost can not be further apart between two gates. I grab a Nathan’s 15-piece hot dog nugget pack and head for the train. Quick stop in the Sky Club for an update:

½ way to my 24 hour goal! Flight back to LAX in a few mins from ATL. Already flown 3,882 miles today to end up right back where I started! I have an upgrade for the morning flight to Milwaukee. That means a big, comfy seat to sleep in!

I run out. I make it, again with seconds to spare. This plane is huge. They have the sleeper seats in 1st and Business Class. They look so cool. I am in seat 49G, aisle. Pretty far back in the plane. The couple next to me are nice, quiet, small. I nod hello to them and wonder, “Would they fit in the overhead compartment”. I’m just saying. Then I could pull up the arm rests and sleep. Fortunately for them, the overhead is full. Oh well, they don’t take up much space.

I wait until I watch the safety video to put on my seat belt. Don’t want to do it wrong. “What? I can’t smoke on the flight? Really? Now , what do I do? Oh, yeah. I don’t smoke, so no problem. I also prefer not to drown, so let’s avoid that whole water landing thing, too, OK?”

Getting late and the day is long, so I just sorta watch TV and doze. I have a great flight attendant in my area named Judy. She has been with Delta for 42 years. So you know she can write her own ticket and fly when she wants. We chat and she gives me extra peanuts. I am in the exit row, aisle seat, bulkhead by the restrooms. The guy next to me apparently considers his airfare to be a cover charge and the plane a giant cocktail lounge in the air. He keeps running Judy back and forth for Jack and Cokes. Eventually he falls asleep. Thank goodness! I fall asleep, too.

Until…

Apparently the movie ended and a lot of people got up to use the restroom at the same time. I hear noises back and forth across both sides of the plane from the restrooms kind of like an airborne “Battleship” game. Judy gets so disgusted she starts spraying Channel #5 in the air. I have never enjoyed smelling like a Delta flight attendant so much in my life. Near the end of the flight I swear I saw Napoleon Dynamite’s brother come out of the bathroom.

So, now I am in LAX for two hours. I get my first full meal of the day and start thinking about my next move. Then it hits me. Hamsters! My daughter, Little One, and I play a game where we pretend to be hamsters. She is a big Hannah Montana fan and so one day I altered some of the lyrics to “Party in the USA” to be “Party in the Hamster Cage”. She took it the rest of the way and finished the parody for us. The real song starts out, “I hopped off the plane in LAX…” and our parody is, “I hopped out the cage in LAX…” And here I was in LAX! Time to pull out the digital recorder!

I found an area that did not have a lot of people in it, right across from the “I Love LA” store. I set my backpack up on a vacant counter at the gate and prop up the camera. There was a weird guy next to me doing something on his computer, but this was the best spot to do my video. I did not have all of the lyrics memorized, but I went for it anyway. The result is at this link on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icW8tO936Ik.

My wife thought Little One and I should shoot a rendition of the song together, so in late January 2010, we recorded a duet. We call the “character” Hamster Montamster. Here is that video:

Back to the trip.

I edit my video in the Sky Club, freshen up a little and hit the plane at 10:30 pm. Once again, the breezeway is my friend. Back in the exit row, with the bulkhead. I love that row. I talk with my seat mate who is a college student at a Baptist college outside of Los Angeles. She is from South Carolina and headed home for Christmas break. We talk for a while, then she falls asleep. I want to sleep, but can’t. In my delirium of flight, I get an inspiration…

What if David Letterman gets wind of this trip. I mean, come on, this is the ultimate stupid human trick. 9,000 miles in 30 hours. I decide he would love the idea and invite me to come on the “Late Show” to do a Top Ten List, “Top 10 Things About Flying 9,000 Miles on Commercial Airlines in 30 Hours”:

#10: Wearing the same clothes for two days in a row

#9: All of the non-stressed, pleasant people who work for the airlines

#8: TSA never got suspicious of the same guy coming through security five times in 24 hours, but my grandma flies once in her life and gets strip-searched

#7: Guinness World Records certifies longest fingernails of all time, but ignores me

#6: Flying 9,000 miles while going commando

#5: Being lulled to sleep by the oceanic sounds of the restrooms

#4: Crashing a White House dinner (Oh yeah, that was the other idiots)

#3: No number 3, writer recording Miley Cyrus video parody as a swamp rat

#2: Tried riding a pogo stick all of the way on one flight; Guinness still yawns

#1: Peanuts, baby, peanuts!

I fall asleep, until…

Memphis. Are you kidding me? I fly over this city four times in one day and have turbulence every time. I can only guess it is caused by the residual effect of millions of hip gyrations from Elvis Presley causing seismic fluctuations over the area.

I make it back to Atlanta and I have almost three hours before my flight to Milwaukee. I am looking forward to my first class upgrade. “Yay! Gonna sleep. Yay!” I head to the Sky Club to update my Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter and record a mid-trip update. You can watch it at the link below. I reference the making of the hamster video, but if you made it this far, then you have already seen it. Here’s the video anyway

My on-line update is:

2/3 thru Gonzo’s Great Gold Quest! Awesome to set a goal & have experience of achieving.

Obviously my verbosity is waning.

After grabbing breakfast, off to the gate for my Milwaukee flight. I settle into my big comfy, first class seat and all I can think is that we do not fly over Memphis! I am about to drift off to sleep, when I hear something strange. This is one of the older Delta planes. They do not have video screens throughout the plane, so they have to actually speak the safety script over the intercom and physically demonstrate it. The head flight attendant says, “Fasten the seat belt while seated…” How else would you do it? I doze off and dream that I am a crash test dummy.

Technology is great for travelers, but sometimes it does not cooperate. For some reason, I have not been able to print my boarding pass for the return from Milwaukee to Atlanta. So, I know that as soon as I get off the plane I know I have to immediately get my boarding pass at the ticket counter in Milwaukee for the return trip. We land after cruising in over Lake Michigan and I am psyched to get myself squared away for the last leg of my journey. I walk up the jet way and…

Head straight to the nearest seller of hot dogs.

So good. Yum! I log on to check email. Check the bank accounts. Credit card statement. Hmmm, what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, I have to head home! I run to the gate, the flight is nearly all boarded and they have given away my sweet exit row seat. So, I get seat 37A, right next to the restrooms. Soon, I am drifting away to the sounds of the ocean emanating from the restrooms.

I awake upon our arrival in Atlanta and I am really hungry. I want steak. The best I can do in the airport is steak fajitas. I savor them. Next step is to leave the secured area of the airport. I walk towards it with trepidation. Is my journey really done? Do I have all of the miles I need? I cross the line that you cannot come back from crossing and a bright light shines upon me…

I am Gold! What a great feeling! A few weeks later I find out that Guinness doesn’t think my effort is worthy of recognition (after all, it is not the “Most hand claps in 24 hours” record). But, I have a new mission in life. To be the best I can be—in all aspects of my life. If I simply put forth the same effort I did on this trip, then I can achieve all of the goals that I have for my life.

What is your “Gold Quest”? Share it below, or comment on how others can make their quests become real.

About Dave "Gonzo" Kelly  (37 Posts)

Dave "Gonzo" Kelly, America's student leadership Trainer™, has been working with students on leadership development since he was a student himself. As an experienced college speaker and trainer his programs maximize student retention by linking student success through extra-curricular activities.

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