Jane goes to a campus party and enjoys herself with her friends. The alcohol is free and Jane has a little too much to drink. When the party ends, Jane is walking back to her dorm room alone. On the way a car full of guys from the party offers her a ride. She recognizes a couple of them and assumes she can trust them to get her to her dorm. On the way, they stop by someone’s apartment and everyone goes in. Jane doesn’t realize it until she’s inside that there’s no after party going on. One thing leads to another and she is gang raped and left to fend for herself.
How could she have gotten out of this situation? Who’s going to believe her when she finally makes it back to her dorm in the wee hours of the morning? If she tells, will she have enough information about who did this to her? Will anyone believe her? Since alcohol was involved will she be blamed? Will anything be done to the college co-eds at all? What about her reputation? Will things ever be the same again?
Countless college students across the nation face these very questions when it comes to unwanted sexual advances, date rape and sexual violence. According to CBS News, “the Obama administration has decided to take on the social issue of sexual assault on college campuses. The Justice Department also claims that this problem has proliferated across this country.” And the numbers are higher than expected since most Janes decide that the price is too high and they’d be better off just trying to forget it ever happened. After all, it’s her word against theirs, there were no witnesses, and its hard to prove what is and isn’t consensual sex after the fact.
College campuses are supposed to be places students go to learn about how to build successful lives, not places they get entangled with seedy characters who threaten their lives in the name of fun. If you are a student who has been involved in a situation like Jane’s you are not alone. If you are like Jane and you haven’t told anyone the circumstances of your situation, consider exposing the truth. Yes, time may have passed and no one will try the guilty parties, but you can help put a stop to this travesty by letting your campus administrators know exactly how serious a problem this is on your campus.
Whether you tell a campus counselor or a friend or a stranger; tell it in a blog or an article in the campus paper; get your story out of the darkness and into the light. You’ll get support that can lead you to freedom from the incident and it could help prevent other Janes from being victimized.
Signing off, this is Dr. Torri “Love” Griffin, LPC
“Issuing the LiSENSE 2 DATE from State to State”
Dr. Torri “Love” Griffin, LPC is the creator of the LiSENSE 2 DATE™ Relationship Training Program which teaches singles of all ages to “use common SENSE to remove NONSENSE so their relationships make SENSE.”
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I believe that prevention of this type of situation begins at home and continues through young adulthood. Afterward is the wrong time to teach young women – or women for that matter – what to do and what not to do in order to prevent such a horrible situation. When the conversation begins early about prevention, results and what to do then if it happens it should be somewhat easier (for lack of a better word) to tell. Also, campuses should automatically be hosting seminars, etc., on this type of activity/behavior. It makes known that there’s a safe place for those who are victimized to go to automatically. Good post.